Planning an adoption for your child is one of the most important decisions you will make in your life. Our goal is to empower you through adoption education, helping you learn as much as possible about adoption before making an adoption commitment.
BIRTHPARENT TO BIRTHPARENT
One of the most effective ways of learning about ARCS is from our clients. This section was created by birthmothers for birthmothers. Our hope is that this collection of statements from birthparents that have worked with ARCS will give you a good idea of our focus and services.
Top Ten Reasons We Chose ARCS
Not ready to parent
“I’m not ready or able to parent at this time. I'm way too young. I'm still in school. I'm not ready to give up school or get married or take care of a baby and I don't want my parents to have to do this for me."
“We have thought long and hard about adoption. At this point in our lives, we are still living with our parents, focused on our education. Our relationship, although most certainly strong, has not reached the point where we are ready to marry and focus our energies on raising a child.”
Still in School
“I’m not really ready for a child. I need more schooling and I’m not financially prepared for a child at this time.”
Wants Two Parents
“I didn’t grow up with both my parents under one roof. I know how important this is. I want my baby to have two parents. So I have made the choice of adoption. I want stability for my baby. I want her to have everything I didn’t . I am very much at peace with my decision."
Birthfather not Supportive
“I met him through a mutual friend and we dated for a few months. When I told him I was pregnant, he got mad. A few days later he called and told me he didn’t want anything to do with me or the baby. It was too late to have an abortion. I was so hurt and I was angry and had such mixed feelings. I thought we were going to get married”
“It would be great if a child could be raised on pure love! If that were the case, this child would be raised like royalty. This decision is being made because I don’t have the means to raise this baby. I can't support myself. I don't want to go on welfare”
“I’m financially unstable and not emotionally ready for a child. Many of my friends have children. They are very young and on social assistance. It might be ok for them but not for me."
“ Due to my health, I am tired all the time. I find caring for and raising my child to be very hard. My father helps me but he finds looking after me and my baby and himself and the house to be very stressful. We eventually discovered open adoption. We feel this is the best option for my son and yet will allow us to be part of his life.”
Single Parent Already
“As a single parent, I am struggling. I know what it is like to raise a child. It takes more than one person to raise a child. I believe placing my son with a family is best for him. He needs so much more than what I can provide. I love him very much but he also needs stability, and a good childhood and future. I don’t have much of an education and I need to get one. I don’t have enough to offer him the best. At least, not now. I believe this adoption will offer him great opportunities and a great future.”
Wants Private Adoption, not CAS
“We had a brief thing and he disappeared when I told him I was pregnant. I tried texting him. I called him at work. He never got back to me. I would sometimes think I would place this baby for adoption. But I did nothing about it. When I had the baby, I knew I was not ready to be a full time mom. I didn’t want this child to be placed with the couples who adopted my other children through Children's Aid. I have no contact with these couples or my kids and I want to have contact this time.”
“ We stayed very close until we did nothing but fight. We had decided to break up. When I found out I was pregnant, I called him right away. We decided together that adoption was the best possible option for our son’s sake. We were not planning to have a child together even though we cared a lot about each other. We both are going to go back to school to try and better ourselves.”
“I’m only 14 years old, living with my parents, still in school. I have babysat alot. So I know babies. They are cute until they cry. I don't mind changing diapers or cleaning up puke but hearing a child cry and not able to stop it from crying, freaks me out. My parents thought maybe they could become the parents. This made me feel uncomfortable. Would I be my baby's sister or still be her mom. I felt better finding parents for my child not related to me.
Have Problems of my Own
“ I can’t be taking care of him right now because I can't take care of myself. I feel there’s people out there who can’t have children and are ready to take care of a child 24-7.