Why Choose ARCS?
Welcome to ARCS!
WHY ARCS?
We at ARCS hope to provide you with an opportunity to explore open adoption as an option for your child. As it is important to have a good understanding of the adoption process and options, we encourage you to learn as much as possible about adoption before making an adoption commitment.
The Top Ten Reasons Why Birthparents Choose ARCS is a collection of statements gathered from birthparents that have worked with ARCS. Our hope is that these statements will give you a good idea of ARCS' focus and services.
- ARCS has a great adoption info package.
“I liked all the info ARCS sent me. All my questions were answered” - ARCS provides birthparents with All About You –"I liked completing this booklet. I put all kinds of info in it for my baby. This was a special gift from me for my baby."
- ARCS provides birthparents with DVDs on open adoption relationships. " I liked hearing other birthmoms stories. It helped me feel better about me."
- ARCS invites birthparents to share their views on adoption at the ARCS Open Adoption Workshops.
“Not only is the food great at the ARCS workshop but I liked having a chance to tell my story”. - ARCS provides birthparents with an adoption worker to help them learn about their adoption options and the adoption process.
“Liked the fact that the adoption workers listened to what I wanted and helped me get it”. - ARCS provides birthparents with a professional counsellor. "At first I said I didn't want to see any counselor. But after my baby was born, I was glad I had someone to talk to. She was great."
- ARCS provides birthparents with an opportunity to view the bios of all couples on the ARCS' waiting list. " This was great. Hey, I know what I want and don't want. I didn't want my adoption worker to select 3 couples for me to consider. I wanted to do this myself. It is my baby-not hers.".
- ARCS provides birthparents with the opportunity to interview several couples before making a final decision. "I was stuck. I didn't want to meet 3 couples and then disappoint 2 of them. But it was hard for me to just choose one. I liked all 3. When I met them all, I knew right away which one would be the right parents for my baby."
- ARCS only works with adoptive parents who really want the child to have an ongoing open adoption relationship with the birthparents.
“At first I didn’t think I wanted an open adoption. ARCS let me plan the kind of adoption I wanted – closed. When I changed my mind, I was so happy that ARCS only accepts couples who want an open adoption.” - THE FOCUS OF ARCS IS BIRTHPARENTS!
WHY ADOPTION?
Reasons Expectant Parents Choose Adoption
Expectant parents considering adoption for their child do so for many reasons. The following quotes express some of the reasons and situations why expectant parents consider adoption for their child or baby.
Not ready to parent
“I’m not ready or able to parent at this time. I'm way too young. I'm still in school. I'm not ready to give up sports or get married or take care of a baby and I don't want my parents to have to do this for me."
Age 15
“We have thought long and hard about adoption. At this point in our lives, we are still focused on family, our education. Our relationship, although most certainly strong, has not reached the point where we are ready to marry and focus our energies on raising a child.”
age 25
Still in School
“I’m not really ready for a child. I need more schooling and I’m not financially prepared for a child at this time.”
age 21
Wants Two Parents
“I didn’t grow up with both my parents under one roof. I know how important this is. I want my baby to have two parents. So I have made the choice of adoption. I want stability for my baby. I want her to have everything I didn’t . I am very much at peace with my decision."
age 32
Birthfather not Supportive
“I met him through a mutual friend and we dated for a few months. When I told him I was pregnant, he got mad. A few days later he called and told me he didn’t want anything to do with me or the baby. It was too late to have an abortion. I was so hurt and I was angry and had such mixed feelings. I thought we were going to get married”
age 40
Financial Limitations
“It would be great if a child could be raised on pure love! If that were the case, this child would be raised like royalty. This decision is being made because I don’t have the means to raise this baby. I can't support myself. I don't want to go on welfare”
age 20
“I’m financially unstable and not emotionally ready for a child. Many of my friends have children. They are very young and on social assistance. it might be ok for them but not for me."
age 21
Health Issues
“ Due to my health, I am tired all the time. I find caring for and raising my child to be very hard. My father helps me but he finds looking after me and my baby and himself and the house to be very stressful. We eventually discovered open adoption. We feel this is the best option for my son and yet will allow us to be part of his life.”
age 29
Single Parent Already
“As a single parent, I am struggling. I know what it is like to raise a child. it takes more than one person to raise a child. I believe placing my son with a family is best for him. He needs so much more than what I can provide. I love him very much but he also needs stability, and a good childhood and future. I don’t have much of an education and I need to get one. I don’t have enough to offer him the best.At least, not now. I believe this adoption will offer him great opportunities and a great future.”
age 23
Wants Private Adoption, not CAS
“We had a brief affair and he disappeared when I told him about the pregnancy. I have had no further contact with him. We had protected sex but the condom broke. I wanted the hospital to arrange the adoption but my brother checked out www.openadoption.ca and we found a couple I liked. They gave my brother Jennie Painter’s name and we arranged to meet one another. I didn’t want my child to be placed with the couples who adopted my other children. I have no contact with these couples or my kids and I want to have contact this time.”
age 34
Too Young
“ We stayed very close until we did nothing but fight. We had decided to break up. We decided to date other people. When I found out I was pregnant, I called him right away. We decided together that adoption was the best possible option for our son’s sake. We were not planning to have a child together even though we cared a lot about each other. We both are going to go back to school to try and better ourselves.”
age 21
“I’m only 14 years old, living with my parents, still in school with no real relationship with the father. My parents and I feel that adoption is in my child’s best interest.
age 14
Have Problems of my Own
“ I can’t be taking care of him right now because I feel I’m unfit. I need to take care of my issues, i.e. addiction, emotions. My attitude towards adoption is I feel there’s people out there who can’t have children. They will be patient so I have respect for them.”
age 31